the hot goddess

What Does Confidence Look Like?

What does confidence look like? The way we display confidence through actions may look different as needs change from our 20s through midlife and beyond. But, the necessary building blocks of inner confidence always look like authenticity and determination.

Confidence does not show up as perfection. Or brute strength. It is not fearlessness or arrogance or boldness. Confidence doesn’t look like winning. Or loud and proud success.

Confidence looks like falling down, screwing up, being afraid (yes, fear) and going forward anyway. Making changes…trying again…starting over…moving ahead. Confidence shows up as determination, resilience, and authenticity as we embrace it all.

At 61, I have a level of confidence I wish I’d possessed in decades past. I have a determination now that isn’t thwarted by fear. Confident women, and men, claim everything — even when something is imperfect, messy, or stuck. That’s part of living with authenticity.

Authenticity means claiming everything. Confidence is authenticity.

I wonder: Is confidence a natural part of growing older, as we do more, learn more, and know more about ourselves? Are determination, resilience, and authenticity automatic byproducts of midlife?

Are you feeling more or less confident with each passing year?

Confidence is feeling afraid but going forward anyway. I’m excited to share my story of overcoming fear, as part of Solo Traveler World’s Insiders Speaker Series.

All images are my own.

The Hot Goddess

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35 comments

  3. Good question! Yes I think confidence seems to come with age. I see younger women struggling and I feel bad because I can sense that it will only improve with time. I think we reach a point when we just realize who the fuck cares about this or that? After a death or a breakup or a big change, we realize what’s important. And maybe that helps us see ourselves with more love. It takes lots of energy to abuse ourselves. It’s so much easier to accept. But that takes time. But that acceptance leads to such confidence, it’s so nice. Yes, I think it takes time. That’s why women of a more mature age are so beautiful and comfortable in themselves. It’s something that’s hard to find when you’re 20. Although if a 20 year old can find that, then good for them! 🌺🌺🌺love those pics! 😎🤩

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  7. Great post, Natalie! Rosie decorated my classroom wall. 💪🏼 I am more confident now and I am also more committed to living authentically and like Dee wrote, I care less about what other people think.

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      • My pleasure, always. It was a great classroom addition that is now rolled in the attic. I gave a away most of my classroom, but I kept her. 💗 Great question, I was pondering the same thing when I commented on your post. 😄

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  11. Does confidence come with age? Yes and no. You also have to put in the work. Make conscious efforts to show up authentically, be courageous, self-aware, know how to set boundaries in your life, learn how to handle negative self-talk, and be able to apply what you’ve learned. Also, and probably most importantly, you have to be willing to trust yourself. That doesn’t come with age, that comes from will and work.

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  14. Absolutely more confident as I grow older. I was just telling a friend of mine yesterday that when I turned 50 two years ago I had no expectations but felt as if a switch was flipped. I not longer cared too much about what other people think, as long as it feels right to me and hurts no one else that is all that matters…

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