the hot goddess

Hello, July

July! So happy to welcome this first full month of summer here in the Northern Hemisphere. I’m also thrilled to be back home in Portugal after seven weeks in the United States.

Reverse Culture Shock: Prices, Politics, and Pistols

The high prices. The toxicrazy (yeah, another made-up word) politics. The over-the-top daily gun violence. Going back to the U.S. for almost two months was a shock to my now-Portugalized system.

OK, inflation is a global issue affecting countries around the world, so I wasn’t expecting low prices at grocery stores and restaurants in Ohio when I arrived for my visit to my birth state in May. But man oh man! Portugal really has me spoiled. I cringed every time I purchased something in the U.S.

In my Portugal village, this large entree of breaded chicken and roasted potatoes, a salad, choice of drink (including beer), coffee, and dessert costs 10 euros ($11). Just a salad at a restaurant in Ohio was $14 when I was there.

Then there are American politics and the antics of its politicians, which are well-known overseas. Last year, my 91-year-old Portuguese nextdoor neighbor, his non-English-speaking wife, and I were sitting on their patio drinking wine and watching the sun set. He speaks some English, and we practice our respective learning when he asks me a question in English, and I answer in Portuguese. This particular day, he asked, “Natalie, can you explain why Americans like Donald Trump?” I responded, “Não. Não posso por que eu não sei.” (No. I can’t because I don’t know.)

Then, my elderly neighbor replied, “But you Americans have a word for him, right?” Now, depending on who you’re talking to, we Americans have a LOT of words for Donald Trump. I was not going to go there with my nonagenarian neighbor. Before I could think of how to answer him in Portuguese, my dear neighbor leaned forward, brows furrowed, and carefully pronounced, “Mo-ther-Fuck-er.”

Yes he did. I spat out my wine and choked, unprepared for my 91-year-old Portuguese neighbor’s A-plus performance. Now fast forward to this year. After spending seven weeks in the States, being bombarded by the nonstop toxicity and hypocrisy we call politics in America, I still give my neighbor an A-plus.

And finally, the obsession with guns is something I’ve been spared in Portugal. American gun violence is also well-known around the world. When I say being back in the U.S. after living in Portugal — one of the safest countries in the world — was traumatic, I am not exaggerating.

This incident, which made national news,  happened on my mother’s street on Mother’s Day, my second day back in the U.S. Police closed the street and told residents to stay inside. They stopped my son in his truck as he was trying to reach us in my mother’s house. “But officer, please, my grandmother lives in that house. My mother is there too and she just got here from Portugal where she lives. I have to get there. Please. It’s Mother’s Day.” My son convinced a kind policeman to let him pass through. The standoff at the condominium building up the street lasted nearly six hours. Reports of rapid-fire gunshots circulated on the news as the incident continued through the afternoon before the suspect was killed.
And this happened near where I lived after selling my house before moving to Portugal. My daily walks often included this park on Lake Erie.
Edgewater Park

Every day for seven weeks, the news reported at least one shooting somewhere in the United States. Every day. Back when I lived in the U.S. I guess I became used to all the reports of killings. But I am not used to it now.

Health at “Home”

My home country of birth is the United States and I am still a U.S. citizen. I still have a U.S. address, a U.S. passport, a U.S. driver’s license, and U.S. financial accounts. I still must file U.S. taxes and still have the right to vote in U.S. elections as a U.S. citizen living abroad. But what I no longer have is U.S. health insurance. My private Portugal health insurance includes travel medical coverage of 50 percent of emergency medical costs, up to a maximum of 250,000 euros. As my Portuguese insurance broker told me, “This is fine for travel in Europe, but the United States is insane (her exact words). I recommend you find separate travel medical insurance cover.” Of course. I never travel anywhere without travel insurance, and traveling to the U.S. for seven weeks? Where I could be shot at any grocery store, movie theater, sidewalk, or park by some nut who decides to “stand his ground” because he doesn’t like the way I look? Supplementary emergency medical coverage was a must for this trip.

Most travel medical insurance plans do not cover pre-existing conditions, with certain exceptions such as well-controlled asthma. So I was bummed when, days before my departure to the U.S., I needed an emergency appointment with an ophthalmologist in Portugal because of sudden flashing white light, large black spots, and cloudy vision in my right eye.

I found out that “posterior vitreous detachment” is another age-related thing. Just like “benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV).” The gel-like substance in our eyes naturally begins to liquefy and detach as we get older, and normally we don’t even know it. But sometimes the vitreous is “sticky” and pulls on the retina as it detaches, risking a torn or detached retina, which can cause permanent blindness if not repaired ASAP.

The doctor here said there were no tears in my still-attached retina “yet,” and cleared me to fly as long as I monitored my symptoms daily and got myself to a doctor immediately if there was any change. Great. Pre-existing condition now, so no travel medical coverage should I need emergency eye surgery while in the United States. With U.S. healthcare prices. Gulp. If retina surgery is required, the patient cannot fly in an airplane for two to four weeks, and, depending on the type of surgery needed, may be required to remain in a face-down position for as many weeks. Damn.

I asked my Portuguese doctor if there was a preventative procedure we could do before I left for the U.S. “Not now,” was his reply. There is a procedure where a syringe is inserted into the eye to suck out the vitreous, but he advises this only when symptoms prevent a patient from seeing out of the affected eye. My symptoms were annoying and disconcerting, but I could still see. So off I flew across the Atlantic, hypervigilant and fingers crossed.

Delighted and Detoxed

Despite the reverse culture shock and my eye issue, I did enjoy a wonderful visit to the United States. I accomplished everything I needed to, and all went as planned. I surprised my mother for Mother’s Day, which was awesome. I wish I had videotaped her reaction. My son picked me up from the airport and took me out to dinner before driving me to my mother’s house. I also saw my brother and sister, both of whom flew to Ohio from the east coast so we all could be together for the first time in five years. I was able to connect with more friends during this long visit, and we laughed and joked over delicious food, tasty cocktails, and fun conversations. It was a truly delightful visit. 

It really was great to have us all together.

I admit my visit was also a bit stressful and a tad emotional at times, as interacting with other humans can sometimes be. Even if you share some DNA. Especially if you share some DNA. In many instances, though, I was happy to realize how much progress I’ve made using the tenets of Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication. Still, other times, I was reminded of how far I have to go to reach a sustained healthy communication style with certain folks. Baby steps, though. Baby AF.

Fun times in Ohio and Florida:

My 6’6″ son towers over my 5’10” frame.
My nearly 92-year-old mother.
Thank you, genes.
I caught up on my consumption of bourbon while in Ohio. Yummy.
More catching up…
Still some more catching up…
Longing for Portugal’s small prices (and large pours) for a glass of wine. (What the hell?)

I took a quick break side trip to Miami while visiting the U.S. It was my first time visiting, and we stayed in South Beach. I had a blast, and now see no need to return. Ever.

Great music at this joint in Miami’s Little Havana. Two drinks and a shared appetizer plate at lunchtime totaled $77.00. Crazy.
Portugal prices have spoiled me.
This is a cup of coffee in Miami. A small cup. No alcohol. It was $15.00.
Miami sunsets were beautiful.

OK, not my-backyard-by-the-ocean-in-Portugal beautiful, but still.
Every city everywhere has to have a giant ferris wheel, and every time, my fear of heights keeps me from riding them.
Wynwood Walls arts district was my favorite place in Miami and we spent most of a day exploring all the stunning murals and artwork.
Yes to more loveism!
Back in Portugal at a sidewalk cafe in my village. Two delicious savory pastries and a latte for 3.20€ (about $3.50). Life is good.

Now that I’m back in Portugal and joyfully detoxed (from reverse culture shock, not bourbon) in my peaceful, safe, affordable home country abroad, I’m still celebrating my aforementioned baby steps in my birth country — and also celebrating other tiny wins:

  • My retina has not torn or detached, and my vision remains as it was despite ongoing, unchanged symptoms. I go back to the ophthalmologist in a couple days for another check. Additionally, my BPPV continues to be manageable and not at all disruptive.
  • My oceanfront townhouse lease here in Portugal was eagerly renewed, with zero rent increases after two years — making it the clear winner, still, in every rent vs. buy computer projection and financial calculator.
  • My Portugal home was waiting for me exactly the way I left it seven weeks ago. No gangs of bugs ready to wage a turf war. No weird smells or mold. And of course, no break-ins.
  • I returned in time to catch the amazing line-up of free concerts at the Gulbenkian Museum gardens in Lisbon. Such a great, well-run series. It goes through July 7, so if you’re in Lisbon, don’t miss it. (Thank you, “Esmeralda,” for the reminder.)
  • My first trip to Greece is on for this fall, and has now been expanded to include Italy, Croatia, and Montenegro. It will be my first time visiting the latter two countries as well.
  • My 65th-birthday bucket list trip for 2025 has been booked. I’m going on a two-week expedition to Antarctica. Not just the Antarctic Peninsula, but actually crossing the Antarctic Circle at latitude 66°S. I’m going with an outfit named Intrepid, even though I am trepid with a capital T, baby. Trepid as hell, but I’m still going and am super-excited. The expedition sails out of Argentina, so when we return, I’ll spend some time traveling around South America too.

What to Know as an Expat Traveler of a Certain Age

Whether you’re traveling to the continent of Antarctica or just another country in Europe, if you’re an American expat living in Portugal, you will need to use different travel insurance providers as a European Union resident. I was surprised to learn that the travel insurance companies I’ve used when traveling from the U.S. won’t cover me as a Portugal resident. The company I used to insure my travel to Portugal and around the world in 2019 would not insure my 2024 trips to the United Arab Emirates or the United States now that I live in Portugal. I’m now using a provider for EU residents, but they and others I’ve contacted don’t offer trip cancelation coverage of more than $5,000, which is a problem for more expensive trips.

Remember to get travel medical insurance, which is not the same as trip insurance. Travel medical coverage becomes harder to get after 65, and prices increase substantially. You want coverage that includes medical evacuation and repatriation to the country where you have comprehensive health insurance. As a midlife expat of 64, I continue to become aware of more and more “normal aging” changes to my body and their potential health complications. Uninsured medical costs in a foreign country can add up quickly. If you’re an American expat of 65 and you qualify, be sure to apply for the premium-free Medicare Part A. Of course, you can’t use it in Portugal or outside of the U.S., but it can be handy for trips back to the States. Also remember to check your private health insurance provider in your overseas home to see what travel medical coverage your plan might offer.

And finally, a little packing tip if you’re an expat making your first (or second, or third) trip back to the States. Remember to take an empty checked suitcase with an empty carryon-size suitcase packed inside that larger empty one. Fill them both with stuff you left behind but still want. Keep a list of products you love but can’t get in your new country, including medications and favorite OTC remedies, then fill your bags with what you can get while you’re in the U.S.  Do not ship anything from these return visits if you can help it. Here in Portugal, they will charge you an arm, leg, and kidney in excessive import duty fees. Pack your shit in your suitcases and bring it all back with you on the plane, without price tags and packaging, and you will breeze through the unmanned Customs lane in Lisbon’s airport. At least, that has been my experience.

Sunglasses and tinted lenses help minimize the annoyance of pesky eye symptoms. Plus, they look cool, right? I order all my glasses from Zenni.com and have them shipped to my U.S. address. Then I take them with me in my carryon back to Portugal.

Thank you for reading ❤️! May your July be filled with happy surprises and planned fun.

The Hot Goddess

Instagram: retired_rewired_inspired

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45 comments

  1. A post filled with the joy of being alive … and of no longer living in the U.S. My favorite bit, of course, was your neighbor’s “word” for Trump! 😂 Thanks for a great trip report, Natalie.

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  2. Hey Natalie. Missed made-up words. Glad to see it’s back. Loved reading your review. Btw your mom looks amazing at 92. Can you say #genes?! Antarctica?! Sounds amazing!!!! You remain my travel inspiration!!!

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  5. Your neighbor was spot on with his word for trump. I don’t understand why people like him either. Glad you enjoyed your visit home. Your mom looks great.

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  6. I really enjoyed this post as I have had conversations about some of the topics mentioned recently.

    My wife and I were married on Christmas Day and honeymooned in Portugal, Morocco, and Spain over an amazing 2 1/2 weeks. In Portugal we stayed around the Lisbon, Sintra, and Cascais areas. We loved it. The low cost of quality, delicious food was a big surprise to us throughout our honeymoon. We ate at some very nice seafood restaurants and were still astounded by the low cost. It became a game throughout our honeymoon…”How inexpensive will this delicious meal be?!” We always guessed higher, even as we lowered our guesses throughout the trip. My wife went to culinary school and is an excellent chef, although she did not pursue it as a career. My tastebud, and expanded waistline since we met, are testament to her skills.

    We enjoyed both Portugal and Spain to the point that I am determined to make retiring there an option for us in the next three to five years. We are considering either the Lisbon area or the Malaga area (the less touristy areas) of Spain.

    I found your blog not long after we returned and have enjoyed learning about your journey and integration into a Portuguese lifestyle.

    Thank You!

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    • Wonderful article. My trips to Portugal are always great, and affordable. One of my friends is buying a place in Cascais, and I hope to permanently rent a room in a large home. It seems many are following your lead.

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    • Thank you so much for this lovely comment and for sharing your story! I appreciate your reading THG.
      Malaga is on my travel list, along with other less touristy areas of Spain and Portugal. So much to discover.
      Best wishes on your retirement and relocation journey! 💜

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  7. Wow, nothing like being away for a while to see the reality! I love your neighbors response to 45!!

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  9. My brother and his wife went with a group to Antarctica. The name Intrepid sounds awfully familiar, and I think they went for two weeks also. I think there was some connection to National Geographic.

    While I enjoyed your entire post and the compare and contrast between the United States and Portugal, my favorite story was about Trump. I’m hoping that Biden pulls out because I think the handwriting is on the wall if he stays in. If you can’t beat a convicted felon with a ton of other baggage, how strong a candidate can you be?

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  10. Sounds like you had a great time visiting family & friends (minus all the violence)! I haven’t left the US but I still have culture shock around politics and guns…I’ll never understand how anyone can support that despicable orange human being!! Your neighbor is spot on! And the love affair the US has with guns is horrifying! I’m happy to hear you’re back “home” in Portugal and have shaken off the reverse culture shock. I hope your eye gets better or at least doesn’t get any worse ❤

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    • Thank you so much, Sharon! 💜 It was heartwarming to be able to connect with many of the people I love and care about. The sad reality of gun violence and toxic politics in the US didn’t diminish that joy, but was a sobering reminder of what needs to change.
      Thank you, also, for your well wishes. Despite the ophthalmologist’s recent finding of hemorrhaging, the retina is still intact and the blood has not worsened my cloudy vision, so that is good news. 😎

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  11. Boy oh boy! What a post! I have always said you don’t really know your own country until you leave it and that has certainly been my experience travelling. As a Canadian who travelled to a few cities in the US for work meetings, my culture shock was enormous. Not used to seeing all the signs at businesses forbidding guns on the premises (What?!?! Why does this even have to be mentioned?!?!?!). Guns, the cost of healthcare, the unhealthy work ethic, the dog-eat-dog competitiveness, the pursuit/jealous hoarding of wealth at any cost…all of these things made me reflect on the so-called American Dream and the cost of that dream on its inhabitants. Not that my country hasn’t got its believers in the American model (and some of those people are already in government or trying to get there – eek!!!!), but I like to believe that most of us still want our “socialist” values to be upheld.

    Your neighbour sounds like a hoot. I think most of us outside the US can see that the Emperor (USA and especially Trump) has very few if no clothes on and something has got to change. Unfortunately though, far right governments are being voted in even in Europe. The 2nd coming of fascism is not something I had on my retirement bingo card. I fear for humanity. Maybe Netflix’s Sweet Tooth is right.

    Oh, I can’t wait to read about your Antarctica trip, Natalie – well Greece and neighbours too, of course…actually any trip will do LOL! – but especially Antarctica!

    Deb

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  13. Your Ohio adventure started off in scary US fashion. Sorry we haven’t gotten a handle on that limits on guns thing like the EU. Glad you had some family time with your son, siblings and mom! The murals you showed were beautiful. Happy you’re back home in Portugal safe and sound.

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  14. Bem vindo a casa Natalie! while it is nice to travel , it always nice to come home.

    Yes, the guns and politics in the U.S. are truly depressing, and your neighbor is spot on. Speaking of politics, family dynamics are always hard for me navigate. It seems no matter how zen I try to be, I am always triggered. I have a family trip coming up in a few weeks. I may need some bourbon😉

    Good luck with your eyes.

    Be well!

    Jametta

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    • Muito obrigada, Jametta! ❤️ I feel you on family dynamics and triggering. Cheers to bourbon 😁.
      Thank you for your well wishes. According to the latest ophthalmologist visit, there’s now hemorrhaging, but retina is intact and vision remains the same. So still wait and monitor. I’d never heard of PVD before, but since I was diagnosed I have met two other over-50/60 American women of color with this condition. One has it in both of her eyes. Oh my goodness.

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  15. So fascinating to hear your view of the US as an expat. There is so much insanity we are desensitized to. Gah!

    And what an incredible trip to Antartica! That is so cool!! So good your eye is holding steady at least.

    Glad you had safe travels here and back. Sending lots of love!

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    • Thank you so much, Wynne! ❤️ Desensitized is right. Yikes!
      I’m happy to be back in Portugal, and appreciate your well wishes. Have a wonderful week. I’m still in shock over how much Miss O and Mr. D have grown. Wow!

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    1. I need those tortoise-shell glasses in my life.
    2. Was one of those sculptures a KAWS sculpture?
    3. You should write about this for Navigating the Change: I found out that “posterior vitreous detachment” is another age-related thing. Just like “benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV).” The gel-like substance in our eyes naturally begins to liquefy and detach as we get older, and normally we don’t even know it. But sometimes the vitreous is “sticky” and pulls on the retina as it detaches, risking a torn or detached retina, which can cause permanent blindness if not repaired ASAP.

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Thank you, Kathy 💜. Zenni is my go-to for my prescription glasses 👓.
      The Wynwood sculpture is by Black artist Hebru Brantley of Chicago.
      And thank you for the invitation to submit another piece to NTC. Good idea. So many age-related discoveries once I hit 64.

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