Mental Health: Making Good Choices in Midlife

During times of turmoil and stress, our mental health can suffer. For midlife women in particular, the rollercoaster of unpredictably shifting hormones during and after menopause can deal a double emotional blow when the world around us is reeling. I’m finding that now I need to be more intentional in my choices than ever, or risk getting stuck in a toxic and damaging cycle of self-defeating and depression-inducing negativity.

We can feel what we’re feeling and still choose not to wallow in those feelings. We can still choose to see joy in the small moments of each day, rather than staying stuck in the depths of our disgust. We can still choose the healing power of laughter and love, rather than remaining wrapped in our righteous rage. We can choose to feed ourselves a healthier diet of life-affirming light. Or, we can choose to continue stuffing ourselves with suffocating portions of soul-battering darkness.

My mental well-being told me I needed to choose the light.

The Signs

After returning from a month-long trip to Antarctica and South America at the end of February, I felt … off. I chalked up my feelings of exhaustion and lethargy to jet lag and the effects of lengthy travel as an over-60 woman. I thought an infection, fever, and side effects of prescribed antibiotics were contributing to my malaise. But as weeks passed and spring approached, I still wasn’t feeling like myself. I was sleeping a lot. I’d abandoned my routine and lost interest in activities I normally enjoyed. I had to force myself to leave my house, get outside, be around people other than my boyfriend. Days on end of rain and storms provided the perfect cover for my desire to do nothing but stay in and cuddle up on the couch with a book and blanket. I joked about having an introvert hangover from too much peopling, but I began to wonder if it was something more. I began to wonder if I was showing signs of mild depression.

But how could that be? I am living the life of my dreams here in Portugal, with everything I have ever wanted. I didn’t feel sad. I just couldn’t figure out why I’d been unable to shake whatever it was that I had been feeling.

The Realization

What I did figure out, though, were some triggers — both positive and negative.

Practicing gratitude and nurturing vulnerability with open conversation are two effective triggers of positive energy. On the other hand, constantly consuming media news reports and political commentary triggers highly toxic negative energy. The vibrations of this poisonous energy create a low, ever-present hum of anger and anxiety that is draining in its constancy.

Even worse, this conglomeration of fear and rage is not new to people of color. We know it all too well. We have been here before.

The Choices

“The overcoming is in your choices.”
Brianna Laren

With this clarity, I decided to tweak my daily choices to better care for my mental health. These aren’t big changes. Just small commitments to eliminating or reducing negative energy triggers by:

Staying offline when I get up in the morning. I do not start my day reading the news or social media political rants.
Avoiding chats, forums, content, and people that offer nothing but complaining. Even when I am in complete agreement with these sentiments (which I usually am), the constant negativity is not healthy for me.
Curating my news feed to include more reporting from overseas media outlets, and less of the partisan and repetitive editorial commentary from American media.
Engaging with funny people and humorous content that make me laugh. Every day.
Harnessing the healing power of music to soothe in the morning, energize and focus during the day, and relax at night.
Moving my body every day and sticking to a fitness plan with the help of an accountability partner. Movement can include dancing, walking, yoga, weight-lifting, stair-climbing, and/or riding my indoor exercise bike.

The Light

This week, I again chose overcoming with the light of laughter (yeah, a bit of snark and politics did get mixed in with the following chuckles). I also chose the light of gratitude — for friends, food prepared with love, and the final rays of a setting sun. If you so choose, perhaps you, too, will find some light in these random shares.

The made-up word lover in me couldn’t help but laugh at this one. I am grateful to have more fucktose-free options here in Portugal.

Sorry … I had to giggle at the image this conjured in my head.

Spoken like a true woody.
(And *with* love it’s really damn spectacular.)

Source: brainyquote.com

When you search and search for a source link to add to your blog draft, but you can’t find it even though you *know* you saw it somewhere.

When you’re on a plane and need to get the blog masterpiece you’ve been working on finished and published real quick before you lose Wi-Fi and mobile data.

Exactamente!!!

Source: This was once revealed to me in a dream.

Comfort food was in abundance at my neighbor’s new restaurant this week.

Thank you for reading! ❤️ I hope your weekend finds you choosing to overcome by resting, playing, laughing, or doing whatever feels right for your health.

Images are my own, except as noted.

The Hot Goddess

Instagram: retired_rewired_inspired

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