the hot goddess

Fear and Loathing in Portugal: Midlife ChatGPTherapy?

“You traveled around the world by yourself, and then moved alone to Portugal where you didn’t know anyone or speak the language. You are brave. You’ve got this!“

I hear a version of this a lot. As folks get to know me IRL, they’re often surprised by the extent of my irrational fears. Yeah, I am funny, can tell a good story, and am genuinely thrilled with my life here. But I also struggle with deep (though expertly hidden) social anxiety; crippling worry induced by relentless overthinking and hypervigilance; and the myriad insecurities of a single midlife senior woman. I hate this.

Pep talk from a friend

A much-younger American friend here recently shared that she has used ChatGPT as an AI resource for working through personal struggles. I was skeptical, but as someone committed to lifelong learning, I want my learning to include understanding technology such as artificial intelligence and how best to use it as a helpful resource as I age. With that mindset, and a brief tutorial from my friend on how to write a tailored prompt for ChatGPT, I decided to give “ChatGPTherapy” a go. (I thought of the term “ChatGPTherapy” myself, then I looked it up online and, of course, it’s everywhere.)

What I’m about to share is extremely personal and over-the-top vulnerable for me. I cringed multiple times when proofing this, but ultimately decided to include everything here because it might be helpful to other solo midlife women living abroad. Sharing my prompt here is uncomfortable and embarrassing, but true to the THG mission of elevating authenticity while helping midlife women see options.

I was stunned by the responses I received from ChatGPT to my heartfelt prompt. Below is the sequence of screenshots I took from ChatGPT to share with you:

Ugh. Vulnerable AF. I needed to understand and identify exactly what I was afraid of, no matter how irrational.
Just reading the highlighted part made me feel better from the get-go.
I did all this, except I over-reached on the first bullet point. I practiced twice. The first two times in my life I have ever ridden a mountain bike or an e-bike. But each time was 1-2 hours on hilly, bumpy, rocky dirt paths — the opposite of “flat and safe” to me. The second practice/training ride was worse, and a bit of vertigo on a curve killed the last of my confidence.
I appreciated these reminders. I would never tell a friend, “You are such a loser!” Yet I said those exact words, out loud, to myself. Several times.
True and true.

And look at ChatGPT going all extra-credit and what not!
Perfect
I talked to my boyfriend about this and, of course, he was supportive and understanding. We’ve been together 16 months (equivalent of 8 years in Natalie years). He loves me and shows me that love every day. Thank you, GB.

I liked all the response options ChatGPT provided, though.
I liked how ChatGPT continued to suggest additional resources I hadn’t thought of.
I’d already used calming tools #1,3, and 5 (though not “proudly”). “You are such a loser!” does not count as a calming mantra, BTW.
I panicked and stopped when crossing a narrow bridge on my maiden ride. Then, on the second ride, I panicked on a narrow, paved street leading up to the dirt trail when a truck approached in the opposite direction. There was plenty of room for both of us on that road, but I hit the brakes and waited for the truck to pass through.
Nice option
Not rocket science, but I appreciate these reminders.
Awesome. Love the alliteration.
Yes and…OK…maybe
Wow
This is the version I chose for my phone.

TMI? Perhaps. But I found that just doing this exercise and writing my prompt in itself helped boost my confidence and balance my thinking.

What about you? Have you used AI to problem-solve? Would you ever consider trying ChatGPT for help dealing with a personal issue?

Fake smile to relax my jaw
and trick signal safety to my fucked up evolving brain.

Thank you for reading! ❤️ I hope your weekend finds you feeling supported, accepted, and confident.

The Hot Goddess

Instagram: retired_rewired_inspired

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46 comments

  1. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability Natalie, and kudos for trying AI as a tool. I hope you share this with your boyfriend and get support from him. I hadn’t considered using AI as a resource for support; interesting idea. Have fun on your bike ride!

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  2. I love that you are staying open to life long learning, Natalie. I have to say AI did a good job here. Never say never.. I admire your vulnerability and love the quotes. Have a great time on the ride! You’ve got this! 💗

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  3. It never occurred to me to use AI or ChatGPT to problem solve or deal with personal issues but I have no aversion to doing so. You make a good case for it. This may end up being one of those things I never imagined doing but end up using as the future keeps dragging me along kicking and screaming!

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  5. Okay Natalie, I really have to venture more into the ChatGPT world. You’ve inspired me. What a great response to your question. “Whatever his response, you’re doing something brave-not just biking, but sharing honestly. That’s emotional strength, not weakness.” Umm, I’m not sure I could’ve said it better. Your quest to ride and your honesty in recognizing your fears … that’s what strength is all about!!!!! You go! I have no doubts the ride is going to be a blast and if anything does come up, you’ll adapt and move on!!!

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  7. Wow, I’m so impressed by ChatGPT’s responses. I’m always worried about giving my personal data to AI (although I think it’s hard not to). I think this is very beneficial for situations like this; however, I would be afraid to take advice on a regular basis. Nothing replaces a real-life therapist. Thank you as always for sharing.

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    • Thank you so much for commenting, Melanie! ❤️ Yes, I agree with you. Privacy is always a concern for me too. And I would not use AI to replace regular sessions with a licensed therapist. I do find it amazing, and a bit frightening, what this technology is capable of.

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  8. Wow, AI really came through for you!!! I’ve struggled with how to use ChatGPT cuz I really don’t have a lot going on at the moment but I guess I never thought to use it as a tool for ‘therapy’ 😊 I’ll have to give it a try with my issues around building a sustainable exercise habit. I ‘know’ what I should be doing I just can’t get myself to do it 🫤 Wishing you tons of strength and joy on your bike ride 😍

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  9. Incredible, Natalie! I haven’t used Chat GPTherapy but I’ve heard of others doing it and your vulnerability in letting us see the results is amazing.

    I’ve had some of these same fears before mountain climbing. Amazing how big they can be — especially when an exit strategy isn’t going to be easy. So impressed and inspired by you!

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  11. Dear Natalie,
    I loved this newsletter. Thanks for sharing so openly. All your insecurities seem entirely logical, understandable and relatable. And really interesting insights into ChatGPT. My hubby loves it as a resource.
    Very best wishes on your bike trip!
    I don’t suppose you will be in New York for the launch of the Private Parts anthology in June? I am able to go as I’ll be out east at that time. I’m from Toronto but live in Denver.
    Warm regards,
    Susan Heinrich
    Susan Heinrich Midlife Globetrotter
    <a

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    • Hi Susan! Thank you so much for your lovely comment! I so enjoy your IG feed and posts!

      Unfortunately, I had to cancel my trip to the US in June, while I await immigration approval of the renewal of my residency permit here. I’m sorry to have to miss the launch party for Midlife Private Parts. Still pinching myself that I was included among this group of amazing women. I hope we get the chance to connect IRL at some point. Enjoy the party, and I look forward to reading your essay!

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  12. Wow! I had no idea that Chat GPT could offer advice, much less really, really great advice too! It covered so many bases, and was very gentle in how it worked with you! I’m so impressed! I’m going to need to learn more about its capabilities!

    Kudos to you for sharing this journey, and kudos for learning a new skill! Hope you’re enjoying it now!

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    • Thank you so much, Rebecca ❤️. While not a stand-in for “traditional” therapy with a licensed therapist, I was surprised that AI provided just what I needed in this particular case. I think this could be an easily accessible option for those who cannot access a therapist for whatever reason, including living in a foreign country.

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  14. This is great, Natalie. I’ve been using ChatGPT Deep Research, and it’s amazing. The ability to scan the internet, aggregate information, and provide answers is extraordinary. I’ve been researching how to take care of the mind, just out of curiosity, since I keep encountering that word lately, and the suggestions it provides are incredible. I would definitely use it as a starting point to solve personal issues.

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    • Thank you, Edward! Now I need to look into the Deep Research piece, which I had not heard of before now. Fascinating! I like your curiosity about taking care of the mind, and I will try CGPT for that too.

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    • OMG…every licensed therapist should be shaking in her boots right now thinking….there is no job security. This AI advice is about 2 years and thousands of dollars savings with spot on advice, prompts, strategies etc. Natalie you have ALL THE TOOLS and then some. GB is lucky to have you and will have your back during this trek! Enjoy the journey and each other.

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      • Hi Joy! Thank you so much for reading and commenting. My mind was blown by the thoroughness of this AI-generated counseling session. Who knew???
        Thank you, also, for your kind encouragement ❤️

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  16. Wow- giving me pause to ponder…in the meantime, I’m relieved you found a resource in the moment of your need. I’m not AI but I offer a virtual hug to you! Arms open wide and giving you a teeny nudge to go forth and peddle that bike with head held high. 😉

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  17. I’ve been riding for about 40 years and still get performance anxiety when riding with a new group.

    Rest assured that seasoned cyclists will take you under their wings and support you unconditionally. We love sharing our passion with “newbies”.

    Wear protective gear, gloves being perhaps the most important, because spills are inevitable no matter how skilled you are. A helmet makes you look smart, but one rarely lands on one’s head. One always uses hands to break a fall.

    Happy trails!

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