the hot goddess

Top 10 Things Portuguese Men Do When They Care

I have no idea what all Portuguese men do when they’re dating, though I do have some humorous stories. What I can tell you are the things one Portuguese man will do to show he cares.

10. Drive three hours roundtrip to take you out on a first date. OK, this one pretty much does apply to all the Portuguese and European men I’ve dated here my first year. They will drive distances to see you.

9. Drive 1.5 hours to take you to a doctor’s appointment at a large and overwhelming private hospital you’ve never been to before. He will wait more than an hour with you in a reception area, helping you navigate the check-in, check-out, and lab test procedures, all of which are in Portuguese. This is your second date.

8. Ask if you want him to drive you to your lunch appointment with a friend after leaving the hospital. He takes you to the restaurant, and asks if you want him to wait and drive you home. He tells you he’s going to eat lunch elsewhere so you can catch up with your friend. He waits in another restaurant for you to finish lunching, then takes you on a sightseeing drive before taking you home. Another hour-and-a-half drive each way, plus gas, toll roads, and a parking ticket he refuses to let you pay. Still the second date.

7. Remember you asking about a famous garden, and plan a trip there. A two-plus-hour drive for him each way. Afterward, he takes you to a well-known sardines restaurant with a 45-minute wait for a table because you’d mentioned that you’ve only eaten sardines from a can. He orders huge, whole grilled sardines, makes a little reference video of himself deboning them, has you practice doing one, then filets all the rest for you.

6. Remember you commenting on how deliciously gourmet the Portuguese McDonald’s burgers look. (Seriously, OMG, these MickeyD’s burgers in Portugal look NOTHING like the mess they sell in the U.S. Spinach, caramelized onions, sunny-side-up egg, Hollandaise sauce, prosciutto, and other non-fast-food toppings.) You’ve told him you rarely ate McDonald’s in the U.S. but you love a good burger. He pulls out his phone and starts to place a Glovo order for the McDonald’s burger you just commented on, but you stop him. It’s 10PM. The next time you’re at his home, he has purchased ground beef to make you gourmet burgers.

5. Drive to Lisbon to pick you up in the rain from a friend’s place. You are hungover from drinking bottomless glasses of deceptively fruity rum punch. Later, after you’re feeling better, he cooks you a delicious meal of roasted fresh fish and vegetables.

4. On the first morning you wake up together, say, in broken English: “I now can leave. So your space you have.” He listens and remembers, and acts accordingly. You tell him he can stay.

3. Want to wait to eat breakfast until you’re allowed to eat after a 12-hour fast and lab tests. He spots a rainbow on the drive from the lab to your house and pulls over after finding the perfect spot for you to take a photo.

2. Read your blog, copying and pasting articles into a translation app. He reads that you love Snickers candy bars, and surprises you with the full-size bars when he comes over with his tools to install lights and window treatments. He’s used a translation app so he can proudly proclaim, “Snickers! I bring you! I know you love!”

1. Serenade you, beautifully and unexpectedly, in his car with the Mariza song you’ve told him you were using to practice Portuguese. This leaves you speechless and teary-eyed.

Sigh

All I can say is Happy Thanksgiving…to me!

Happy Thanksgiving to you in the United States as well. The next The Hot Goddess post, the last for November, will publish after Thanksgiving. Check back then for Home for the Holidays, an article on how to turn a furnished rental overseas into a home that feels like you. Then, December will kick off the Diving Into Dating Abroad series of monthly guest posts by single expat women, from 30s to 60s, who are dating in Portugal.

I am grateful for your encouragement and happy to have connected with you here. I’ll end today with more November glimpses of this beautiful country. And, of course, a ‘lil snarky snark. Thank you for reading ❤️.

Being grateful for what we have is one thing. Being grateful for the happiness of someone else is next level. I’m not great at this when it’s someone who has been unkind to me.
I’m working on it.
Or, there’s always this.
Wishing you happiness, on Thanksgiving and every day.

All photographs are my own.

The Hot Goddess

Instagram: retired_rewired_inspired

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56 comments

    • Thank you so much! Oooh, I am the last person to ask about tips to compel anything 😅, and can’t really speak about dating Portuguese women. My main tips for dating, period, are understand what you really want from dating; know when those wants change; and keep your mind open to possibilities. 💜

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  9. Wow! *stars in eyes* Fresh sardines AND gourmet hamburgers? The foodie in me is loving this! He sounds like a man who really enjoys your company and is finding multiple ways to spend time with you! This is so great!

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    • Oh man. It’s a work in progress. This, from a draft I’m working on:

      ME, at his home trying to read (your book, Kathy) on my phone when he starts talking: “Por favor, não agora. Estou a tentar ler.” (Not now, please. I am trying to read.) My best effort at trying to say this.
      HIM: “Blah blah blah…telemóvel…blah blah” (Something about me being on my cell phone. I think.)
      ME: “Querido, só estou a ler um livro.” (Dear, I am just reading a book.) All-wrong grammar, but, hey.
      HIM: “Blah blah blah estou…blah blah” (I think he is correcting my grammar.) Here is where I should come with a warning label.
      ME: Silence. I am reading. I am also thinking “WTF????!”
      HIM: “Querida? Blah blah jantar blah blah…” (Dear? I think maybe he is saying something about making dinner or eating dinner, but it could also be some fucking idiom about the bounty of life or some shit I will never get.)
      ME: Silence. Reading.
      HIM: “OK.”
      ME: Looks up from reading and gives him an air kiss. Positive reinforcement is essential during his behavior training.
      HIM:  Walks over to the sofa where I’m sitting and gives me an actual kiss. Several little kisses on my forehead and side of my face. He can’t get to my mouth because I am now looking down, back to reading. “I love you, querida.”
      ME: Feels like the biggest asshole ever. “Eu também, querido.” (Me too, dear.)
      Positive reinforcement is essential during my behavior training.

      Work in progress! 🙄😆

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  25. You had me at filet!! (Your date had me at #7 with “filet.”) LOL And the positive reinforcement comment was hysterical. I love following your journey. It always puts a smile on my face. You go, girl!

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