the hot goddess

Midlife Fear and Loathing in Portugal ~ Part 2

Last week, I wrote about my anxiety over an upcoming group bike ride in northern Portugal, and the shockingly thorough suggestions for coping strategies that I found using ChatGPT’s AI.

My anxiety had ramped up because:

  • I hadn’t been on a bicycle in 17 years.
  • I have balance issues.
  • I’d never been on a mountain bike.
  • I’d never been on an electric bike.
  • I’d never ridden a bike on unpaved, dirt trails, not to mention on cobblestones and narrow, hilly, twisty Portuguese roads.
  • I’d never done a group ride.
  • The group of 20 riders were my avid cyclist boyfriend’s cycling buddies and their spouses.

The “ChatGPTherapy” session was helpful, and friends and boyfriend were reassuring.

Awwww

Armed with all this support, I went into the ride knowing I didn’t have to be fearless, flawless, or fast (ChatGPT’s affirmation). I could do as much or as little as I wanted. It was OK to be me.

The Ride

We drove to Esposende, Portugal, north of Porto, the day before the ride. After a bit of sightseeing in the charming nearby town of Viana do Castelo, we met the group in our hotel’s bar for cocktail hour. Within the first 20 minutes, three spouses — all of whom were bike riders — told me they weren’t going on the group ride because the trail “is too much.” 

“If you haven’t been on a bicycle for a while, this is not the ride for you,” said another rider. By the end of the evening, a separate small group had formed to go sightseeing instead of going on the ride. Initially, I decided to be part of that small group. But then, after sleeping on it, I decided to try the ride until it became too dicey for me, and then stop. It was important that I gave myself permission to stop.

I’m proud of myself. I pushed through my fear and crossed a long bridge with a lot of car traffic. Boyfriend and all the other riders were protective, patient, and encouraging. So kind! I saw some lovely and picturesque small villages, and I managed not to fall as I steered my heavy bike downhill on a few curvy cobblestone roads. I still found the e-bike scary, as it would suddenly kick in pedal-assist and speed up when I didn’t want it to.

Most of the cobblestone roads were very easy, like this stretch.

Then we finally reached the dirt trails.

Sound on. Listen to my permission proudly given!

Oh, hell no. No way. Nope. Não.

I did not sign up for this mess.
Another rider took this photo going uphill and shared it with the group. Even on an e-bike, I am unsteady on terrain like this.

After completing a little less than half the ride, I stopped, found a road with car traffic where boyfriend could lock up the bike, and I called an Uber. Boyfriend wanted to return to the hotel with me, but I finally convinced him to go catch up with the group once my Uber arrived. My introvert (and chicken) self appreciated the me-time back at our beachfront hotel.

This is more like it!
Ahhhhh

Even though I did not finish the ride, I’m happy I did as much of it as I did. Afterward, some of the regular cyclists said I made the right call. “This wasn’t a route for a beginner,” said one of boyfriend’s cycling pals who wanted to reassure me. “Parts of it even had more technical difficulty than what we usually do on our weekly rides.” All of the experienced riders wanted to make sure I didn’t feel bad about quitting. I definitely did not. I now know I have no desire to be a dirt bike rider. A road bike and paved trails for me from now on.

I was kind to myself. This is my courage.

Source: ChatGPT

The Trip

I enjoyed the entire two-night trip. We had beautiful weather that was perfect for cycling, driving, and sightseeing. The hotel was well located, and we enjoyed some good food at area restaurants.

Esposende
Viana do Castelo funicular rail
Viana do Castelo
Viana do Castelo
Viana do Castelo
Braised polvo (octopus) with sweet potato puree and turnip greens. Absolutely delicious!
Creamy tangerine creme brulee for sobremesa (dessert).

Thank you for reading, and thank you to all for your kind words of encouragement as I fretted about this bike trip. I tried, folks. I tried.

May this weekend find you trying something new and celebrating your effort. ❤️

All images are my own, except as noted.

The Hot Goddess

Instagram: retired_rewired_inspired

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44 comments

  1. Great job conquering your fears and and not giving up. And also giving yourself permission! I haven’t ridden a bike in years and have never ridden an e-bike ever lol, so yeah, it looks like you definitely made the right call haha! You should be super proud of yourself and thanks for always inspiring! 🙂 Have a great weekend!

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  2. I’m happy you gave us an update! It sounds like you had a great time and overcame your fears with a little help from ChatGPT. Next time you’re in that area, check out Valença. It’s a very charming place.

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  3. I love this (as usual) and the clips and photos make for a nice interactive experience! (Minus the anxiety but also minus the deliciousness.) 😂

    I came across something surprisingly inspiring today. This woman on YouTube mentioned it’s ok to take a break from the constant healing and introspection and self-improvement, that we do not have to identify as a project which needs fixing all the time.

    Sounds appealing, right? I wonder how to start this journey.

    I’m going to email you later, I want to propose something to you.

    ❤️ from 🇨🇦

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    • Thank you for your comment, Claudette ❤️! And yes to taking breaks from all of it, for sure! Life is hard enough. I’m learning to be more compassionate with myself, though it’s not a linear journey.
      Hugs to you from Portugal 🇵🇹 🤗

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  4. Oh Natalie, I commend you for trying!! After hearing what the spouses said the night before I would’ve bailed 😂 You’re so much tougher & courageous than you give yourself credit for ❤️ Thank you for sharing “all of you” with us!!

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  10. Natalie:

    I think you are a badass and far braver than I ever could be. So when I read last week’s post, I thought, just say no, but you made the effort, and proved to yourself that you could. Your boyfriend’s response was perfect and really demonstrated his concern for your well being.

    Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experiences. I can only hope that I will have as much courage in conquering my fears.

    ✌🏽&🙏🏽

    Jametta

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  14. It sounds like you had all the fun you could possibly have. A harrowing ride is as mentally taxing as it is physically and you were smart to acknowledge your limits. What a blessing to have a supportive companion who encourages you. From the looks of the village roads, you don’t need to go off road to develop technical skills!

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  15. Good for you, Natalie for doing what you could and stopping when you gut shared that too. “I’m going to step off 😂’ No sense being like too many I know right now and falling and breaking something. I’d be with you at the beach with pool in hand! 🤚🍷

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  17. Good for you! Yes, that ride way beyond beginner level. Glad you had fun on the rest of the weekend! I agree with you about paved roads and pathways to bike on. I’ve recently been able to start riding my bike again, first ride out was shorter, just to get the feel of it again. I found that my back has aged more, so I need the handlebars to be higher, and I’m getting a new padded gel seat so my bum will be comfortable.

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  20. Next time you’ll know to skip the bike and go straight to the drink! (and beautiful views). You really are a fantastic writer, especially when you make me laugh. One of my swim aerobic friends said to me last week, “You know, you really aren’t much fun!” Oh boy! I better ask ChatGPT for lessons on how to be more fun. LOL PS: I also loved your “in Natalies years” referring to the length of time you have been dating your BF. You crack me up!!

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    • I needed that drink, too!!! Thank you so much for your kind words! ❤️ I’m happy you enjoy reading THG. That makes me smile.
      Maybe your swim aerobic friend could ask ChatGPT what fun is. Or perhaps for lessons on how to be a friend??
      That does give me an idea about asking ChatGPT to outline a syllabus for a how-to-be-an-awesome-girlfriend-at-65 course. I need all the help I can get if I’m gonna make it to 9 Natalie years.

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