Once you’ve decided to change your life, it’s challenging to rethink who you are and how to be the best version of yourself in this new chapter. It’s an ongoing journey. One that can be sidetracked or derailed by events that cause choices to be questioned.
Find out who you are and do it on purpose.
Dolly Parton
The key to reimagining life as a single midlife woman is letting go of the opinions of others. Let them think and do what they want. Let me stop worrying about and trying to control other people’s thoughts and actions, giving people power over my choices and emotions. Let them be them. Let me be me. I learned this lesson five years before Mel Robbins’s book, The Let Them Theory, was published, but I still find myself needing refreshers from time to time.
This week is one of those times.
My family has been discussing treatment options for my 92-year-old mother, who is in the hospital as of this writing. Group chats, phone calls, accessing online medical records, sending scanned legal documents that have been in place for years. All part of the process when one has moved overseas and left family behind. As a midlife expat, you have a plan for this inevitable scenario. You know you’ll be judged for it, but you let that go. You let them judge. Now, you need to stop judging yourself. That’s a different struggle.
But I’ve been reminded of a far greater struggle. This week marks another anniversary of the death of my best friend’s son and only child. There is nothing more horrible than this. Absolutely nothing. We are supposed to bury our parents. We are not supposed to bury our children. My friend has had to make some incredibly difficult and brave decisions throughout a hellish time. I marvel at her strength and grace.
Remembering gratitude for my life here in Portugal and in my other home in the U.S. brings me back to center. I am grateful for the ease of my so-called “struggles.” Let me stop judging my choices and start remembering what’s important.
Preparing to Leave Elderly Parents
From a purely practical standpoint, it’s important to be well prepared if you choose to reimagine your life as a midlife expat leaving elderly parents behind. Emotional preparation is important and will be an ongoing process. Logistical preparation is critical and will help bolster emotional readiness and security. Start planning early, well in advance of moving overseas.
I hope the following list is helpful for anyone with elderly parents, whether you’re moving abroad or not. For expats, don’t underestimate the need to think through — in advance, before emotions are high — what scenarios will trigger a return home. This plan will guide you when events occur and the opinions of others are flowing freely. Let them opine or judge. Let that go. You are prepared for whatever this reimagined life of yours brings.
Checklist for Expats Leaving Elderly Parents Behind
Thank you for reading ❤️. May this weekend find you feeling centered, prepared, and being kind to yourself.
All images are my own.
The Hot Goddess
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The Hot Goddess 