Lately, it seems as if there is not one moment in my life that I am not thinking about every moment of my life. And it is exhausting AF.
It takes a brittle fortitude to persist in unflinching examination of oneself. One’s true self. To not turn away. To not refute, reject, refuse some new (old?) revelation. Those Ah-Ha moments often come with an Oomph. A kick-in-the-gut hurting that takes away unprepared breath in a sudden blow.
Introspection is such necessary but fragile work – realizing, understanding, and accepting connections leading to self-awareness. It ain’t pretty. This crap is complicated as hell. It’s much easier to dismiss or glaze over, or avoid entirely. But this work – and it is Work – is the foundation of true authenticity. It’s how we learn our critical life lessons. Introspection forms the building blocks of understanding and owning who we really are… and not the curated bullsh*t of a “brand” on social media. Artificial authenticity is not a thing.
If I’m not being honest about who I really am is it because of a deliberate duplicity, or an innocent ignorance that’s just waiting to be informed? I was made aware over the weekend that I was picking and choosing the parts of myself to claim as Authentic. It doesn’t work that way, though. We know this.
The journey continues and I will not be deterred. I will stay curious. But I might take a break when I’m tired. And that’s OK.
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