the hot goddess

The Kinda Grumpy Midlife Solo Expat Introvert’s Guide to Group Travel

This article is for you if you:

  • Are over 50, 60, 70, 80, or any age you once thought of as “old.”
  • Live by yourself (or wish you did) and are used to doing what you want, how you want, and when you want. All the time.
  • Live in a foreign country, or not.
  • Tend to avoid being around people because they get on your nerves drain your energy.
  • Decide to try a two-week group tour of four countries — something (the group part) you’ve never attempted in all your travels.

Still with me? Awesome.

Now, by “group,” I mean a whole bunch of people. Strangers. Fifty total strangers. Fifty total strangers who don’t speak English because they’re all Portuguese. You are the only American.

You will hear people in your tour group refer to you as “A Americana” (The American) among themselves throughout the trip. Some will say this as they choose not to sit next to you at meals. You may at first be offended by this, maybe even a bit hurt, and will need to remind yourself that your facial expressions are multilingual and “fuck you” is universally understood. Then you will realize they are just nervous, not confident trying to make meal-time conversation with a person who is not fluent in their language. So you will end up doing what you always do as a solo expat living in Portugal: you will make them talk to you by jabbering on like a new and overly enthusiastic door-to-door salesperson, using whatever words you can remember in their language. Asking about grandchildren (“netos”), back pain (“dor das costas”), and knees (“joelhos”) are can’t-miss conversation starters.

When conversation in Portuguese begins to rapidly accelerate due to their mistaken belief in your language prowess, do not panic. You will simply nod and throw out the occasional “talvez” (maybe) and “mais ou menos” (more or less). Remember to sprinkle in lots of “pois” (yeah, of course) and “olha” (look) too.

Others in your Portuguese tour group will be eager to talk with you and will show the warmth and kindness I have come to know from my lovely village neighbors. You still will not understand what the hell they are saying, but they will be happy to help you by speaking “mais devagar” (more slowly) when you ask.

Listening to all tour guide information and instructions and reading all documents in Portuguese for two weeks will be fantastic learning practice for you. Some stuff you will get by with only understanding 30 percent or less. Other stuff, you definitely cannot coast by with less than full understanding. Meeting points and pick-up times are crucial to understand. You will always confirm, confirm, and confirm your understanding with the tour guides.

You will not sweat understanding tour explanations of places you visit. That’s what the Internet is for. You’ll Google your stops in advance so you know something beforehand, which also will help you understand the Portuguese spoken descriptions. Or not.

Need a break? You will take your me time.  You will easily find your own tours and guides — in English — online wherever you are. I use Viator and GetYourGuide all the time. You won’t be afraid to try your hand at bargaining with a taxi or Uber driver for a bespoke personal tour — in English — also. If you don’t want to spend the extra money, you’ll research free walking tours where you are. The important thing is to listen to your face when it tells you to take a break from the group, because it will also be speaking loudly and clearly to the group. Your multilingual face does not have an indoor voice.

Hello, November

I am welcoming November with fond and funny memories of my October travels. Introversion and loud facial expressions aside, I truly had a wonderful group trip to Italy, Croatia, Greece, and Montenegro! Great food, people, sightseeing, and experiences on this fast-paced tour of Venice, Padua, Bari, Trieste, Dubrovnik, Split, Corfu, Olympia, and Kotor. I am so glad I took this Portuguese tour. It was well organized and great learning practice. I appreciated that everything was taken care of for me… even if I didn’t always understand every detail exactly.

I have too many photos to share, so I’ll just add this highlight video instead. I smile every time I watch it and hope you enjoy it too.

Other things that have me (still) smiling as we begin this penultimate month of the year:

I was able to get online while I was traveling to check the status of my overseas ballot, which I returned to the U.S. before my trip. I was so excited to see confirmation that my voted ballot had been received and accepted for counting that this Americana let out a cheer that got my tour group’s attention.
It’s not unusual for me to bring back a respiratory bug as a travel souvenir, and this trip was no different. My boyfriend delivered a pot of hot chicken noodle soup he’d made from scratch just for me. From scratch. I didn’t even think that was possible. I mean, how do you get the chicken broth if not in those boxes, right? 😂 This was the best chicken noodle soup I have ever had. Lemon juice, fresh ginger, tons of actual garlic (not powder…who knew?), and turmeric joined chicken he actually cooked (not pulled from a store-bought rotisserie bird…who knew?), and other usual ingredients to make a soothing and healing pot of goodness. Soup and Portuguese “Jell-o” cups have been my go-to happy meals for lunches and dinners.
This discovery — bolo de batata doce (sweet potato cake) — also takes me to my happy place. It’s like a crustless sweet potato pie that carries my taste buds back to my mother’s kitchen.
This article in The Guardian made my introvert self smile. Apparently, older animals also get into a me-time groove, and it keeps them safer from disease. Pois!
I’m still drinking lots of tea…
…and lots of juice and ginger shots…
…and smiling when sitting in the sun at home with this view. Home sweet home.
Life is good on Portugal’s Silver Coast.

Thank you for reading! ❤️ May your weekend find you smiling and enjoying what’s right for you.

All images are my own except as noted.

The Hot Goddess

Instagram: retired_rewired_inspired

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32 comments

  1. Good for you for going on an all-Portuguese coach tour, Natalie. I dawns on me that in this current political climate it was probably more comfortable to be with 49 Portuguese who you couldn’t always understand than 49 Americans who you could understand! 😏

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  3. Woah! I don’t know if I could have done what you did, Natalie – go on an extensive bus tour with 49 other people and no one speaks my native tongue??? I did 4 days away recently (still on my island and everyone spoke English) with 12 strangers and I thought THAT was brave 🤣.

    That chicken soup looks amazing – your boyfriend sounds like a keeper! Hope you feel better soon 💕.

    Deb

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    • Thank you so much, Deb! 💕 The tour was a mix of plane, bus, and European cruise ship (my first experience on one of those gigantic ships 🙄🙄🙄). It was a LOT, and I am still recovering from my people hangover 😂.

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  5. Hi Natalie, I enjoyed all the pics from the countries. I love taking tours with people I don’t know. The soup needs to be placed in mason jars and saved for later. You can’t buy that soup anywhere. It was made with love. 💕 Thanks for sharing.

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  6. that soup !! He’s a keeper ! Feel better beautiful Natalie!!

    you never cease to amaze, inspire and make me laugh out loud !

    I would be struggling in desperation with google translate the entire group trip!

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  8. Good for you on so many counts – not the least of which having jumped through all the hoops to get your ballot cast in time to be counted. Thanks for the inspiration and loads of laughs…that’s what makes life worthwhile! And get thee well, lady! 😉

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  11. It’s always a joy to read your posts, and you had me in stitches with your account about travelling with fifty total strangers. 😀 But seriously that’s commendable…

    Hope you’re slowly recovering from the respiratory bug. And that delicious-looking soup… What a thoughtful and loving gesture! Your boyfriend is a keeper. ❤ ❤

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  12. Awesome! “The important thing is to listen to your face when it tells you to take a break from the group, because it will also be speaking loudly and clearly to the group.” Oh, I’m writing this down because I need to remember it. That view from your house is a million-dollar view, Natalie.

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  13. Natalie, I love reading about your expat adventures and am planning an investigatory Portugal visit next June, with an eye on the Silver Coast. I’m pretty sure you mentioned this in a previous post, but are you in Caldas?

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  14. Natalie, I so enjoy reading about your expat adventures! I’m planning an exploratory Portugal venture for next June, with an eye on the Silver Coast. Apologies in advance if you’ve said this elsewhere, but are you in Caldas?

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  15. Natalie, I love reading about your expat adventures and am planning an investigatory Portugal visit next June, with an eye on the Silver Coast. I’m pretty sure you mentioned this in a previous post, but are you in Caldas?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

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