March, with its ushering in of spring, is an obvious representation of new beginnings…new life. As such, I see the month of March as a fitting metaphor for midlife — when new beginnings beckon and old lives are shed for new ones sprouting in fertile fields of self-discovery.
I’ve been pondering time and my own midlife changes. The second week of March saw mercurial Mother Nature struggle to make up her mind, and fickle Father Time prepare to snatch one precious hour to propel time forward. As the sun rose each morning I found myself coming back to the words of Brianna Wiest, in her book 101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think. These are her words that spoke to me this week, and my takeaways:
Life Change
Feeling indifference means you’re on the wrong path. Feeling fear means you’re on the right path. Discomfort is what happens when you’re on the precipice of change. ~Brianna Wiest
Trepidation is a power tool.
The Hot Goddess
An intense need to be alone means you are recalibrating. Insecurity and uncertainty lead to something better. ~Brianna Wiest
I don’t owe an explanation for meeting my need to grow.
The Hot Goddess
Relationships
Any frame of reference is based on what has already happened in the past. All we know is what we have known. We can’t know what will make us happy because our only context is what we’ve always known. ~Brianna Wiest
Everything I experience is filtered through the stories I’ve told myself from the past. I repeat the stories…I repeat the past.
The Hot Goddess
What you love in others is what you love about yourself. What you hate in others is what you don’t realize about yourself. ~Brianna Wiest
That asshole is a mirror and a microscope. Thank him.
The Hot Goddess
Listen to hear, not respond. ~Brianna Wiest
I will listen more than talk. I will hear more than shout. I will fail at this but keep trying.
The Hot Goddess
Happiness
Happiness is acceptance. Acceptance does not mean giving up. It’s letting joy build bit by bit. ~Brianna Wiest
I am grateful for this joyful new life I am building through choices that are right for me. I will not apologize for that. I will not assign any outcome in my life to someone or something else.
The Hot Goddess
Happiness is a choice, not a set of circumstances. Don’t choose it all the time. Happiness is not a constant state of joy. Allow bad days. Be fully human. ~Brianna Wiest
All is well. All feelings are valid. I can choose what I do with them.
The Hot Goddess
What about you, dear readers? How do any of these speak to you?
A Confession:
This is not what I planned to post today. As I prepare to move to Portugal later this year, I’ve scheduled Expat Learning posts on my editorial calendar for the second Friday of every month:
February: Residency visa requirements
March: Finding housing in Portugal
April: Taxes in Portugal
May: World Portuguese Language Day
June: Healthcare in Portugal
July: Expatriate is not ex-patriot
August: Immigration appointment tips
September: Moving logistics
October: Meeting folks, making friends
November: Food, shopping in Portugal
December: Christmas in Portugal
Today’s planned post, “Picking a Pad in Portugal,” had to be updated with ever-changing information on residency visa housing requirements. I found my writing was starting to morph into something else on race/skin color, immigration, and double standards here and abroad. I’ve realized there’s a lot I need to write, in a post that goes beyond expat information and vexpat angst, so I’m reworking things in a separate article to come. Please stay tuned for it and the ongoing Expat Learning series. Thank you for reading!
All images are my own.
The Hot Goddess
Instagram: retired_rewired_inspired
If you enjoyed this please remember to Share, Like, Follow, Comment, Subscribe. (This is my “call to action” I’m supposed to include in every post. Thanks so much for your support!)❤
The Hot Goddess 
You are the angel message I’ve been seeing all over the place lately in repetitive numbers and things… Every word in this post resonates. Thank you, Hot Goddess! May you find peace to propel forward with an open heart and mind. New opportunities await!
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Claudette, thank you so much for the love! It makes me happy to read your words. Thank you for making my day!💜
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I think, or at least hope, that every woman when she reaches a certain age realizes these things. It brings a type of peace and makes moving forward easier.
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I agree, Jennifer. It’s taken me a while to get here and it’s a wonderful place to be.
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I like your cranky, honest, and real responses to Brianna’s quotes. I’m also becoming more cranky, and less willing to put up with other people’s nonsense. 😋 Keep on reaching for those expat dreams. I’ve started to consider Panama as a retirement landing.
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Cheers to appropriate crankiness! Thanks so much for commenting, Brad. I’m excited to hear you’re looking at Panama. It’s on all the top places to retire lists.
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Thanks Natalie!
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I think the one about indifference is speaking to me…lately, I just don’t care if I’m late to work—although I tell the kids on my caseload that they are the best part of my day. I’m getting used to feeling like everything is up in the air and not knowing what’s going to fall back to earth and what I’m supposed to do with it…
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I hear you! It took me a while to realize I had to make a change and then give myself permission to take time to figure out what the change should be.
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Wow! This post really made me think! And the quote about what you love and hate in others … oooh that got me! Gonna do some soul searching and repentance on that one! Best Wishes! Leigh
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Thank you so much for reading, Leigh! That quote is my favorite. I have work to do on being patient and tolerant.
Have a wonderful weekend 💜
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“Trepidation is a power tool.” – wow, doesn’t that speak volumes in 5 words! I couldn’t agree more – when I’m scared I know I’m alive in the best way! Love this post!
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Wynne, thank you! I love “When I’m scared I know I’m alive in the best way!” That says it all. Your support means a lot. 💜
And it’s Sunday, so I will be heading to your Funnies post, which I look forward to each week.😁
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Wow both your quotes and hers are equally powerful. I’m going to read and reread a few times to absorb. This was so lovely, thank you, Natalie!
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Thank you so much Libby! I appreciate you 💜🙏🏽
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I listened when my soul said to be alone. I didn’t apologize or explain. I made decisions to align with that purpose and time has confirmed that I made the right choice. Thank for you sharing.
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Good for you! I struggled for a long time with giving myself permission to do what I needed to do for myself. Feels good and right. Thank you for reading and sharing!💜
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I liked them all with the thoughts on Happiness best. It is indeed a choice. I also read the post that included the boat that capsized in a canal in Thailand. Yikes! I’m not afraid of water, but…
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Thank you, John! I think BW’s quotes on happiness are important reminders for all of us. Thank you for reading the Thailand post too. It’ll be a while before I get on one of those again! I always enjoy your Thailand posts. I’ve also wondered about your experience as a world traveler of color.
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Love the quotes you’ve shared. I am excited about your upcoming shares and to live vicariously through you! 🙌🏻
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Thank you, Michele! I appreciate your encouragement!💜
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Of course! I am excited for you!!
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Thank you for all of this.
I hope that sharing these posts helps bolster your anticipation and calm your anxiousness (not anxiety) as the moving day approaches.
When I read them, front and center in my mind will be my good wishes that you get everything you want and need to make this happen. 🌹🌹
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Thank you, Shirley, for reading and your much appreciated good wishes!💜🙏🏽
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“I don’t owe an explanation for meeting my need to grow.” this speaks to me, right now. Thank you for sharing it.
You are so organised with your scheduled Expat Learning posts. 🙂 I wish you the best with all the paperwork and requirements to process. They can turn into manifold difficulties, and as you allude, the red carpet is not always rolled out for all of us. Best of luck!
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Khaya, thank you so much for this ❤️! As always, your words elevate everything. I’m glad you could relate to my post, and thank you for the well wishes. You said it perfectly re the red carpet.
Hugs to you. I hope you are healing from your loss ❤️🩹
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Brianna Wiest shared some authentic advice. Made me do a lot of reflecting. Thank you for sharing.
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